1. There would be a lot more family pets and a lot fewer strays
2. Chickens would be acceptable household pets
3. All pills would be available in chewable form
4. Pajamas would be acceptable for most any occasion
5. Life would revolve more around eating and less around consuming
6. There would be more lists
7. You could check things off those lists
8. (It would give you a sense of fulfillment)
9. There would be more time for blogging
10. Honey would not count for calories
11. Everyone would have space for a garden
12. There would be fewer people
13. Economics would be taught more thoroughly than literature
14. Literature would still be taught thoroughly though!
15. Every student would graduate knowing how to balance a checkbook, change a tire, and make bread

Sometimes I like to click the “next blog” button on the tool bar on blogger and do browsing. Normally I find absolutely nothing, and a lot in Portuguese. Today was different though. By my second click, I had found THIS. I don’t get it. I don’t want to. It just made me laugh really hard. Maybe that’s because I’m sleep deprived?

I’m sure it doesn’t matter.

My parents have three cochins. If you have never seen cochins, you simply need to accept that with the exception of polish top hats, they are the most absurd chickens ever. And my parents have three. Two hens and a big poofy rooster. The cochins always remind me of cats, in that they are actually much smaller then they seem. They’re mainly feather and poof.

Anyway, back to heff. When the rooster first came to live with us, he was named lief erikson, a strong viking name. My parents, however, have taken to calling him Heff. Not because of the obvious “two hens” and “Hugh Hefner” connection, but rather, the “heffalump” connection.

Please tell me you know heffalumps. As in heffalumps and woozles? If you don’t, you need to go back and re-do childhood. Clearly something important was missed.

Below you’ll find a video of Heff strutting around and clucking. I love his voice. It so deep and dramatic. Such a contrast to a puffy, plodding chicken.

(Video is mine. Please don’t steal)

I’m guessing my brother is a drug dealer, though, considering he “stoned” the other team. Um… what?

The title was meant in a very sarcastic way. Right now, I have a horrible canker sore. it hurts. A lot. And is positioned perfectly as to make teeth brushing one of the worst experiences of my life. Being the scientific person I am, and with spare time (on account of shorter teeth brushing times…) I decided to look up exactly the cause of canker sores. This is what I found:

Doctors do not know what causes canker sores, but they may be triggered by stress, poor nutrition, food allergies, menstrual periods and trauma.

Which is super cute. Because according to that definition, I should be lucky MY ENTIRE FACE doesn’t morph into a massive sore. Thaaaaaanks life. I appreciate it.

(not mine, GIS)

The new iphoto comes with facial recognition software. The basic idea is, as you upload your pictures, it identifies the faces in the picture. You can click to ignore it (someone you don’t care about, background people, etc) or you can enter a name. Once you put the name of someone in, iphoto remembers their face. It then looks at other pictures to see if they are present in other pictures. iphoto will then pop up and ask “is this ___?”.

My brother was showing me this new software. His photo library has some of my pictures from my high school graduation. In many of these pictures is my ex-boyfriend, Morgan. While showing me this software, iphoto popped up and asked, “Is this Morgan?” to this picture:

This is what Morgan actually looks like:

Needless to say, iphoto isn’t perfect at this whole face matching thing. (Or is it?)

I’m currently being amused that my site has been loading almost exclusively air freshener ads in my AdSense spots since I posted THIS post about a poor design.

I would think, if you were making air fresheners, a basic tenant of your design would be “don’t set it in an open dish and make it look like candy”. But that is exactly what Renuzit Crystal Elements has succeeded in doing. It takes a whole new level of “fail” to miss that one.

In looking for the picture below, it also seems that they are essentially worthless in the “aroma production” department.

I think I need coffee. Or a lobotomy. Either one would be fine.

I wouldn’t do much of anything for a klondike bar. Sorry.